so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
