She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
