I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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