i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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