if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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