carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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