I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
