i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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