using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
