dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i believe in u and ur pee
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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