There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
