so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
