Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
