I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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