i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
