So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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