I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
