btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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