marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
