I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize