I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
