I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Houston, we have a squirter
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
