____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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