Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
