i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
