I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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