And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize