Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
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