guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
