TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
