I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
