She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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