What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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