idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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