i just wanna soil my oats bro
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize