How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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