just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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