Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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