just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
