Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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