A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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