Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
