Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
