We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
