They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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