Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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