I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
