We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
