I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
