just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
