The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
