your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
