so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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