so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
