I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
