I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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