dude i'm inner monologue high
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
