my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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