My pussy is not your playground.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
