Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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