brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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