talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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