why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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